About This Practice
As a caregiver, you may find yourself apologizing often and carrying around unnecessary guilt and shame. Making amends is a much different and easier way to re-establish a connection with others and yourself. In this practice, you'll reframe apologies by attempting to make amends. In doing this practice, you’ll release the guilt that might be weighing you down while also teaching others how you wanted to be treated compassionately.
Steps
I’m sorry moments
Consider moments in which you felt guilt, apologized, or wanted to apologize. Jot them down on a piece of paper or in a notebook. Now, review the list again and circle only the situations where you actually did something wrong.
Own your behavior
Spend five minutes thinking about your behavior and write down the following sentence. “I admit I did or didn’t ___.” Next, write down “I imagine you must have felt ___.” Last, write down “In the future, I’ll prevent this by ___.” Combine all the sentences and speak your amends aloud to yourself.
Offer your amend
Spend five minutes making amends to the person in a recent scenario. After you’re done, ask them if there’s anything else you need to know about the impact on them. Spend time being curious and listening.
Keep practicing
Think about all the times you may have impacted yourself by doing or not doing something. Practice self-compassion for seven days, making an amend to yourself in the same way. Practicing this with yourself is the best way to become more comfortable practicing with others. :-)